Breaking the Silence
by Angsty Glowstick
Summary: On his winter break, Takao visits Kai in his family mansion. He was expecting a life of nouveau riche, but all he finds is… Hinted TaKa. Oneshot.


**Breaking the Silence**

(I am terrible at titles. This one emerged after much deliberation.)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade, as you all very well know. Let's just say that if I did, the series would be a little… different…

**Warnings: **Some angst and hinted shounen-ai.

**Summary: **On his winter break, Takao visits Kai in his family mansion. He was expecting a life of nouveau riche, but all he finds is… Hinted TaKa.

Hullo! This is a work that has been long in the making, and it is finally finished! After the sacrifice of blood and tears, and much heart-wrenching—okay not really. Just some frustration, maybe, and a voice in my head telling me to give up. But it is done. That's all that matters.

Happy reading!

xx

xx

xx

It was one cold afternoon when Kai received the call.

"HEY!"

Kai raised his eyebrows and leaned against the study room's desk. He had not been expecting Takao to call him at this time.

"Hello? Kai?"

"Kinomiya," he sighed, "How are you."

"I'm great, everything's okay," the other's jubilant tone sounded, "But I've missed you! How are things on your end?"

"Fine," he replied monotonously.

"Eheheh, you don't sound too good to me. But maybe that's just you."

"Hn."

"Typical Kai. It's been so long, you'd never think to keep in touch, of course."

"Three months," Kai contradicted, "Aren't you busy with school?"

"Ehh, kinda," Takao replied, "I'm on winter break now."

"I see."

"So?" Takao's voice demanded, ringing loudly in Kai's ear and causing him to distance the phone receiver, "How's it going? New life like a prince, eh? Let me see: big mansion, wise butler, half a dozen maids, personal chauffeurs…"

Kai closed his eyes as the other went on, basking in the stillness and otherwise silence of the luxurious study room. When Takao realized that Kai wasn't making a response, his monologue faltered.

"Hey… everything's alright, though? You're not having any trouble?"

"No," Kai frowned. He moved away from the desk and stared out at the frosty expanse of land beyond the tall windows.

"You sure? You sound off a bit…"

"Kinomiya," Kai responded slowly, "Do I ever sound cheerful?"

"Hahah, right on that one! But you know how I'm on break right now?"

"Hn."

"Weeeelll," Takao started brightly, "I was thinking to come and visit!"

Kai was taken aback, "Visit?"

"Yeah! I've really missed you and I want to see for myself that you're doing okay."

This was how Kai found himself waiting at the airport for the arrival of Kinomiya Takao two days later.

xx

Kai was caught unaware when a form suddenly emerged out of the bustling crowd and launched itself at him. Takao squeezed him tightly, forcing Kai to extract himself by way of returning the embrace before pulling back.

"Kai!" Takao exclaimed earnestly, "Man, is it good to see you again!"

"Where's your luggage?" Kai wanted to know.

"Over… there, eheheh," Takao pointed at where he'd haphazardly left his singular travel case in order to launch the attack on Kai, "I'll… just go and get it…"

"So, how are we getting to your place? And where is it exactly?" Takao asked as they walked through the airport (1) back to the parking lot.

"Car, you'll find out," Kai replied dismissively.

When they made it, Takao stared at the black Mercedes Benz with interest.

"Nice car but… no chauffeur or anything? And wait, you can drive?"

Kai dropped the other's case in the back.

"Get in," he said.

And they finally set off towards Kai's family mansion.

xx

Kai had been staying with the Kinomiyas, keeping outside as much as possible and only sleeping in the dojo, when a request had been made for him to see his grandfather in jail.

He didn't know why he consented, but he did. Later on he couldn't tell whether he regretted it or not.

"Kai," came his grandfather's rusted voice as they met in the visitor area, "You have grown so much."

Kai inclined his head and grit his teeth but said nothing.

"You look well, though," Voltaire observed, "I hear you've been staying with that friend of yours, Kinomiya, is it…"

His grandson looked up with a challenging smirk.

"What do you want?" he asked bluntly.

"What is this," the old man, who looked very well cared for even in prison, all but hummed, "I cannot even show concern for my only remaining kin?"

Kai looked directly into the deeply wrinkled face and into the sharp eyes and felt anger but not hatred lash through his insides. He hid it well and again made no response.

"By all means," Voltaire dismissed, "I could've had someone else meet up with you but I wanted to do it personally. It is about time we discussed your future."

"My future has nothing to do with you," Kai bit back and made to get up and leave. He should've known that that he shouldn't have had any expectations.

"Oh, but it does," Voltaire answered lazily, causing Kai to pause. "Do sit back down."

Kai slowly retook the seat after a long internal struggle.

"You have a very loyal friend," the man began, "I'm sure it would seem like the situation is just perfectly manageable. But, to say, wouldn't you think that sooner or later you'll become a burden, that the Kinomiyas would tire of you?"

"Meaning what," Kai replied roughly. He couldn't deny that that was constantly plaguing his thoughts.

"Kai, I am an old man, and you are my only heir," Voltaire spoke, "Our family may have lost a lot during these past few years, but not everything. You have a place and wealth of your own; I will not have my grandson imposing upon anybody like a homeless person. After all we have a reputation and pride to uphold."

Kai's fist clenched and unclenched. He stared incredulously at the man before him.

"And this…" he started, "…Now?"

"I will not be here forever," Voltaire reminded him. Kai really wanted to believe that this was his grandfather showing some concern for his grandchild but the cold hard eyes prevented him from doing so. "So, I have a request to make of you."

"Don't push it," Kai snarled, making to get up again.

"I want to see the family line continued before I die," Voltaire's voice rang out, "I want you to be married, and bring a child into this world. You need not worry about anything, even from here I can have everything arranged…"

Kai slammed his fist onto the table between them, rattling it and causing the old man to pull back slightly.

"You're out of your mind," he breathed, "How… you expect me to do anything…"

"Kai, I want you to think about it."

"No."

Kai turned away but did not leave.

"Very well. I do expect you to soon be moving, however," Voltaire continued softly, and this time it seemed like an order Kai could not dodge.

"To our family home in Hokkaido."

xx

"Whoa," Takao said as the car neared the isolated Mansion on the snowy outskirts of Sapporo, "It's… huge…"

Kai shrugged as he stopped to disarm and open the automatic gate fencing the territory. Once through, he drove down the long driveway and parked the car.

Inside, they simply stood in the high-ceilinged entrance of the dark building, thick with stifling silence.

"Hello?" Takao called down the long hallway. His voice echoed slightly.

"There's no one here," Kai replied and began to walk inside. Leaving his luggage by the front door, Takao followed.

"No one here?" he asked, "What do you mean?"

They reached the main hall, which branched off on all sides with a grand spiral staircase in the end opposite leading up to the floor above. Takao walked a bit and peaked into one of the dark branches.

"This does look a bit… deserted," he commented, looking confused, "Kai?"

Kai stood in the middle with his arms crossed.

"I live here," he said, "Alone."

xx

Later on they sat in the spacious kitchen having a meal that Kai scraped together and which Takao found surprisingly good.

"So, Kai," Takao talked after swallowing, "I'm kind of in the dark here," he looked out the open doorway of the well-lit kitchen to the shadowy spaces beyond, "literally."

Kai sighed and pushed his plate away.

"I don't use the whole right section of this place, nor the third floor or basement. The side you looked at earlier looked unlived in because it is unlived in."

Takao chewed, swallowed, and gave Kai a puzzled look.

"That doesn't explain the lack of people," he pointed out.

"I don't have family members."

"I—Kai, you know what I mean. A butler, a cook, or something. Or do they only come on specific days?"

"No."

Takao set his spoon aside and leaned back.

"Okay, I don't get it."

Kai sighed, "Kinomiya, you talk too much."

He got up, rummaged around, and disappeared behind a newspaper, effectively blocking out any further conversation.

xx

"This place is gloomy," Takao complained that night, while they sat beside a roaring fireplace in what was perhaps the smallest living room in the whole mansion, which was not saying much.

"Hn," Kai replied, busy with reading a book on the sofa while Takao sprawled himself over the rug directly before the fire, "You wanted to see things for yourself, and you did. You can go back tomorrow."

There was some shuffling and then the book was pushed aside as Takao loomed over him.

"That's not what I meant," Takao said crossly, "I'm happy to see you. Though you could be a bit more engaging you know."

They looked straight at each other, eye to eye, and then Kai shrugged and moved away. He came back with what looked to be a very expensive chess set.

"That's more like it," Takao cheered, grinning.

Kai set it down.

It wasn't very hard engaging Kinomiya Takao.

xx

When Kai had arrived at the mansion, he was accompanied by two people: his grandfather's representative in their family's now-flailing company and a legal consultant who'd explained everything to him on the way.

He had not been expecting much in the first place, but as the days passed he hated every part of it. Certainly the mansion was extravagant and spacious, but it was around winter and that only meant that it was always freezing cold. He'd been left alone, according to the conditions he'd been informed of (cunning plan by Voltaire, who thought the loneliness would make Kai cave into marriage) and even for a solitary person like him it was too much. He hated the ever-present silence, the pressing stillness, the loneliness.

Kai also had no power or ability to hire anyone into any kind of position. This forced him to do pesky things such as housekeeping, which was one of the reasons he used only a small part of the mansion on a daily basis.

As the cold and the isolation began to grind on his nerves, he found hatred building up in his chest. Hatred for winter, for his situation, for the drag of time, for the mansion itself… but never could he muster any malice towards the man behind it all. Voltaire. Whenever Kai thought about his grandfather numbing anger would engulf him. But that was it.

In order to fill his days and not to think so much, he began pouring through the tomes in the library, exercising excessively, practicing his cooking skills. Anything to pass the time.

Kai would never have expected for Takao to call him suddenly with the intention of visiting.

It made a violent surge of relief rush through his entire body; something that he would never admit aloud.

xx

On that first night when they were finally retiring to bed, Kai showed Takao to a second floor room he'd prepared.

"Whoa," Takao said, "That's… really big. Cold too," he added with a shiver.

The room had a silk-laden king sized bed set in the middle of its expanse. The floor was covered in a heavy rug and the room had a wardrobe and bedside tables and little else. It was certainly too exquisite and bare for Takao.

"Extra blankets in the wardrobe," Kai told him, before turning to go.

"Hey Kai," Takao called after him, causing him to pause, "Goodnight."

Kai nodded and shut the carved wooden door behind him.

xx

Takao lay sleepless for a few hours, cocooned within a mound of blankets. There was a chill that no amount of covers seemed to take away, and it was too dark and too stealthy. As he lay he consented that it was indeed a bit creepy. For long moments he kicked and tossed, trying to fall asleep. Then he finally sat up, intent on finding Kai and perhaps crashing beside him.

The door creaked ominously as Takao opened it. He stepped out onto the long landing that stretched on either way; where was Kai's room? The other had neglected to let Takao know where he was sleeping, probably purposefully. Takao pursed his lips and surveyed either side of the hallway.

In the end he began to walk towards the stairs, hoping that a light or something else would give him a hint.

As he neared the staircase he heard a sound emitting from below; it was soft and barely discernible. He began to descend only to realize that the sound was musical. It led him all the way back to the living room they'd used earlier.

"Kai?"

Kai looked up from the book in his hand with a surprised look. Despite Takao's initial assumption, the music wasn't being played by Kai, but rather emitted from a gramophone. The heir sat in all his glory of raven silk pajamas and seemed to have been interrupted from his own little world.

"I couldn't sleep," Takao told him, then shivered. He moved closer, nearer to the fireplace. "It's a bit… too much."

Kai slowly set his book aside and seemed to contemplate what to do.

"I don't want to go back up there, I want to sleep here," Takao quickly told him.

The other nodded, "Go get blankets and a pillow."

"No!" the blunette exclaimed, and then looked sheepish, "eheheh, don't make me do that…"

Kai's eyebrows began to rise.

"I mean," Tyson continued hurriedly, "I don't want to go upstairs again…"

Kai's eyebrows basically reached his hairline.

Takao sighed, "It's creepy, alright? ..and cold… and just weird…"

Kai simply sat there and looked at him with a very demeaning expression. Takao felt very humbled by it.

"Don't look at me like that!" he said, "Don't forget who lived in this house before. I mean, no offence, but your grandfather isn't all there…"

Kai crossed his arms and waited for the rest.

Takao sent a fleeting look into the dark area beyond the living room. "Think about it this way: who knows what kind of stuff he's had… _has_, lurking in the basement—in all those unused rooms—"

"Kinomiya, just be quiet," Kai cut through his words exasperatedly. He got up without another word and disappeared into the scary jaws of the dark hallway.

"So brave," Takao chuckled, and then busied himself with examining the warmly lit but still aristocratic room. It was beautiful, and certainly all the furniture were authentic antiques. Nice to look out, but Takao in reality didn't care much for grandeur. He preferred the dojo and his cozy bedroom.

When Kai came back and chucked two blankets and a pillow at his head, Takao tried not to feel like a damsel in distress being saved by her dashing and bold prince.

"Thanks Kai," Takao told him appreciatively, and then snuggled down near the fire.

Kai ignored him and went back to his book.

Takao shuffled and turned, once again trying to fall asleep, but the constant flipping of pages distracted him.

"Say, Kai," he began after a few minutes. He turned his head and looked at the other still sitting on the couch, "This—all this, tell me about it."

Kai's only response was to flip another page.

"Kai," Takao continued softly, "Why did you decide to come here? Weren't you happy at the dojo with us? With me?"

He saw Kai close his eyes briefly, and the book was once again discarded. Kai seemed to be on the verge of saying something without knowing how to phrase it.

"Just tell me, I want to know. Whatever it is," Takao said, and looked into Kai's eyes. The deep magenta pools were beautifully aglow with the light of the fire.

The owner of those eyes opened his mouth, closed it, and then said, "Kinomiya, either sleep, or let me read in peace."

Takao looked away; the intensity of those eyes was too much for him to behold. He stared into the flames instead, slightly sad and slightly exasperated. Kai's eyes were telling him a whole story, and he wanted to hear it. He noticed that Kai did not pick up his book again.

"And you? Aren't you going to sleep?" Takao asked finally.

"When I'm finished reading," Kai told him.

Takao turned away.

"Then wake me up when you go upstairs, I don't want to stay here alone."

Little did he know that three months ago Kai began to suffer from reoccurring insomnia.

xx

Takao woke up in the middle of the night with his bladder feeling like it would burst. When he returned from the loo, he was awake enough to realize that all sources of light except the fireplace had been extinguished. There were extra blankets beside his, and he realized with a sleepy warmth that the figure within them was Kai. He'd brought covers and a pillow for himself as well and went to sleep beside Takao.

Takao smiled as he nestled in the warmth of his own blankets again. He looked at Kai's sleeping face—so peaceful, beautiful—and then reached out and touched his hand.

When he woke up late the next morning Kai and his blankets and pillow had all disappeared.

xx

The day passed by uneventfully: they played a few games, did boring chores. Takao watched Kai working out, and then they had a drawn out bickering session (one-sided) about who should cook.

"I can cook," Takao insisted, "You did it yesterday, I have to help out."

"It's fine," Kai told him with his arms crossed. He wore a cautious expression, "I can do it."

"Kai! That's unfair!"

"I'm cooking."

"It—it's not like I would, I would burn down your kitchen or something!" Takao wailed.

Kai gave him a look that begged to differ.

Takao ranted and pleaded and otherwise created a ruckus. The unaffected Kai ended up cooking.

xx

The first time Kai tasted true insomnia was on his first night at the mansion. He'd been left alone, as expected, and found that he simply was not unable to fall asleep. He tried in vain to close his eyes and fall into oblivion to no avail. It was a maddening process, and every time he had opened his eyes into the face of the darkness again, or felt the stifling covers against his skin again, it became more maddening. He had gazed startlingly through the shadows at the foreign room he had picked out. And the longer he stayed up and the more he registered the more alien and detached he felt.

This new situation and the mansion it entailed disturbed him. It was such a far off extreme from Takao and the dojo that Kai thought he could never get used to it. And the more Kai thought the more Kai realized that he was stuck in a mansion in the middle of nowhere, alone. Alone. The more Kai realized this the more he realized he would not be able to sleep.

It got to a level where he wanted to scream or smash something within reach.

At four am, a dazed Kai began to wander around the unfamiliar territory. He walked into a few rooms on the landing, each one colder and worse-feeling than the last. Then finally he had descended the stairs and taken refuge in the living room that soon came into his usual use. There he tried to busy himself with anything, anything that would exhaust him into sleep.

He did sleep by morning, in the end. But through every moment leading up to it his anger had raged inside him and he mentally cursed the man behind it all.

When his eyes finally began to droop, Kai's last thought was that Voltaire must have been trying to torture him into submission.

xx

That night Takao simply refused to go to his allotted bedroom.

"I'm sleeping in your room," he told Kai, "There's no way I'm going to stay in that room alone."

Kai, who felt much too worn out to argue, simply shrugged and pointed out his quarters. Then he turned to go.

A hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder. Kai paused.

"Where are you going?" Takao demanded.

"Downstairs," Kai said boredly.

"Kaiii," Takao whined, "I'll only sleep in your room if _you're there_. The whole point is that I'm not saying alone, seeeeee. It's decided, I'm coming down with you."

Kai had a brief internal struggle but there was nothing he could do about the clinginess of his guest. And, should he really borrow deep within himself he knew he enjoyed the bluenette's company…

They descended the stairs and once again Takao sprawled out by the fire. He'd left blankets there specifically for a situation like this. Snuggling on the rug, he turned and grinned sleepily at Kai, who sat as always on his favorite couch.

Kai's eyes flicked over the edge of the book he held to meet Takao's for a second before going back to his page. Takao smiled warmly and plopped his head down.

"Kai," he started.

"Hn."

"Kaiii," Takao wasn't letting up.

"…I thought you said you wanted to sleep," Kai replied impatiently.

"I do," Takao confirmed, "Buuut… will you read for me?"

The hand holding the leather-backed book went limp and Kai eyed him in puzzlement, as though the other had just uttered the most ridiculous request on the planet.

"Read… for you…?" he intoned slowly.

"Yeaah," Takao looked up again, grinning, "You're always so engrossed in your book so it must be good, right? Read to me from it."

"…" Kai seemed to be deciding on how to best address this idiocy, then finally he said, "Kinomiya, for all you know I could be reading the dictionary."

Takao plopped his head down again and smiled at the high ceiling, "You're not that kind of person and even if it was the dictionary, I don't care. It will sound nice if you read it."

He did not look at Kai and so he did not see the look being directed at him. The puzzled gaze this time held a different meaning behind it.

Kai finally looked away. "I'm not reading for you Kinomiya," he scoffed.

Takao closed his eyes and snuggled in deeper into his cocoon.

"Please," he said earnestly, "just until I fall asleep…" his voice ended in a sleepy murmur.

Kai weighed his options. He could completely ignore the idiot sprawled on the carpet, since he appeared to be falling asleep. But then again, the bluenette was falling asleep so what would it hurt to grant him a little request…

Kai cleared his throat, stared at the text on the page before him. In front of him Takao's breathing was beginning to even out in slumber.

Blinking twice at the still form, Kai looked back to his book. His voice projected barely above a whisper.

"Now the woeful notes begin to make themselves heard; now am I come where much lamentation smites me. I had come into a place mute of all light, that bellows as the sea does in a tempest…" (2)

xx

Takao had been half asleep when Kai's soft voice had intoned the beautiful and melancholy literature. The next day he could not remember if Kai had indeed read to him or whether he had dreamt it. He could not remember what the text had been about at all, just that it had been a perfect match for Kai's quiet tone. After some deliberation, he decided that it was not very likely that Kai had agreed to read to him and filed it away wistfully as a figment of his imagination.

After a late breakfast (he could never wake up early) a brilliant idea struck Takao. He hurried out of the kitchen and headed towards the staircase, not missing Kai's raised eyebrows at him. Takao quickly disappeared upstairs, rummaged in his luggage, and emerged a little while later in full winter gear: puffy jacket, leather gloves, hat, and woollen scarf. He stood back in the kitchen in front of Kai's still raised eyebrows and smiled.

"Well?" he said excitedly, "Come on, Kai, we're going outside!"

"…outside?"

Takao nodded vigorously. He was happy to have woken up to bright winter sunlight for once instead of the usual grey and pathetic morning light. And so he thought: what could be better than stepping outside into the vast, snow-laden property of the Hiwatari mansion? He'd been stuck inside for a few days and it was prime time he dragged Kai out for some winter fun.

Kai looked at Takao evenly. Takao tilted his head and grinned at him now.

"Don't say no," he all but ordered, "It's nice and sunny so we should have some fun!"

The Hiwatari continued to look at him.

"It's cold," he pointed out. It's not that he really minded the cold but he wasn't going to be so easily persuaded.

"DUH!" Takao exclaimed, sweeping a hand about himself, "What do you think all of this is for? Come on, Kai. Please?"

Kai sighed. He could feel his resolve already melting and if he were to admit it he should probably step outside of this damned place more often. Not long after he found himself standing with his winter coat, boots and gloves by the main door, watching as Takao pulled his own boots on.

"Let's go!" Takao said and flung the door open. He sprinted out into the nearby snowy expanse and turned back to Kai who had barely managed to step out of the door yet.

"Hurry up Kai!" he called.

Kai shut the door firmly behind him and began to stroll after the energetic bluenette. He stuffed his hands deep into his pockets as he watched Takao begin to roll snow into what would be the lower body of a snowman. When he had managed to make a lump of round-ish snow about half his height, Takao turned to Kai, panting lightly.

"Over here! Come help me make the rest of him!"

Kai walked closer but continued to watch as the other began to roll a second mound for the upper body. His cheeks and nose were already getting a pink tint from the sharp wind. When the upper body was an appropriate size, he turned to Kai again with a disapproving purse of the lips.

"At least help me place it on top of the other one, then," he said.

Kai shrugged and, moving forward, grabbed one side of the huge snow ball and hauled it with Takao on top of the other one. Takao began to pat it and mould it into place but then looked up distractedly from his task when Kai began to roll the third and smallest ball for the head.

"Yesss!" he cheered, "Kai's actually helping out of his own accord!"

"Shut up, Kinomiya, before I change my mind," Kai grumbled, and, finishing up the extremely lumpy excuse for a head he made, he shoved it on top to complete the snowman.

"Thanks Kai," Takao said brightly and then fluttered around smoothing snow and ensuring that nothing was about to topple off.

Kai crossed his arms and watched silently as the blunette finally stepped back to examine the unfinished snowman.

"Now we need eyes, mouth, nose, arms, accessories…" he regarded the snowman thoughtfully, "Say Kai, can you go find a couple of sticks for the arms? I'll be right back."

And without giving the other a chance to reply, he hurried back towards the mansion.

The Hiwatari heir seriously debated not doing what was asked of him and then thought of the radiant smile Takao would have at his finished snowman… scowling at his own train of thought, he set off into the nearby clusters of trees and returned with two uneven sticks. He impaled them moodily into the pale flesh of the snowman and then deigned to wait for his friend to come back.

Takao emerged again soon after with a bundle in his arms. He immediately set to work by placing a hat on the head of the snowman and a scarf around the neck. Then he used a carrot he'd brought from the kitchen as a nose. Stepping back, he frowned at the result so far.

"You don't happen to have any buttons do you?" he asked, and Kai shook his head. "Hmm.. be right back then."

Once again he ran back to the mansion, leaving Kai to wonder what the blunette had in mind. Soon after Takao returned with a bunch of pebbles and smiled at Kai guiltily.

"And these came from…?" Kai questioned.

"You know that plant pot in the main hall? It's filled with pebbles and, yeah. I'll return them later if you want…"

"I don't care," Kai dismissed.

Takao sent him a grateful look and then placed two bigger pebbles as eyes and the rest in a row for the mouth.

"Tada!" he exclaimed happily.

They stood side by side and looked at the handiwork together. Takao seemed proud, smiling as ever as he regarded the big snow man. Kai, however… well, the snowman was unbelievably lumpy for one, despite Takao's best efforts. The arms were crooked and did not match under any criteria. The carrot was certainly too small, and the eyes were not of equal size. Takao had not even managed to make a smooth line of the mouth.

"So what do you think Kai? Kai?" Takao turned to him only to see him smirking. Kai met Takao's eyes and his smirk only widened. The bluenette looked incredibly offended for a second, before a playful pout came onto his face.

"HEY!," he said, smacking Kai on the arm, "Don't make fun of him!"

Kai attempted to wear a serious expression without much success. Takao turned away in mock offense.

"Don't worry, my dear snowman," he assured the lump of snow before them, "He's just a big meanie. Who cares what he thinks? You're a great snowman! Snowman.. hmm.. I think you need a name…"

He hummed thoughtfully for a second as Kai turned away and bit his lip to keep himself from grinning. For some reason he was finding the whole situation really funny.

"I know!" Takao exclaimed finally. "I shall name you… Mr Tsubutsubu! (3)," he finished dramatically, then waved a finger at the snowman, "But don't be offended! You really are cute and it suits you perfectly!"

Kai could no longer contain himself and he began to chuckle. Then he tried to cough into his hand to hide it. Takao was not fooled; he smacked Kai again.

"Don't laugh at him!" he said crossly, though he was grinning himself.

They looked at each other for a second before Kai murmured, "Tsubutsubu…" he could barely contain himself.

Takao let out a cry and retreated, "That's it!" he shouted with a playfully shaken fist, "I think this calls for war!"

He quickly made a snowball and, taking Kai by surprise, chucked it at the taller man's shoulder.

"I see how it's going to be," Kai said with a raised eyebrow, then made his own snowball and threw it. It hit Takao in the back, who had been trying to make another snowball.

Takao turned with a pout, then his eyes gleamed in the sunlight, "I shall defend this poor snowman's honour! Bring it on Kai!"

For once, Kai forgot that he was Mr. Mean and Scary Who Does NOT Participate In Childish Games and snowballs rained all around them. He dodged most of the snowballs aimed at him but managed to hit his target enough for his liking. He wore a smirk as another snowball aimed at his head missed. Takao, seeing Kai swing his arm back to send another ball of snow at him whimpered and took refuge behind Mr Tsubutsubu. The snowball hit Mr Tsubutsubu squarely in the face, dislodging his nose. Taka emerged again with a growl and ran at Kai, tackling him. Kai 'oomph'ed as the air was knocked out of him and the momentum made them roll down the hill. They struggled and scuffled as they went, only to land unceremoniously at the bottom.

Kai was very aware of Takao's weight on top of him as they stilled, panting. He was extremely warm now despite the cold weather and was sure that the other was no different. Takao lay for a while with his head on Kai's chest, his breathing heavy. Then he shifted and looked down at Kai with a grin.

"That was fun," he said.

Kai rolled his eyes and pushed him off before standing up. He began to dust snow from his attire as Takao sat up, pink-faced and happy.

Kai spared him a glance. Takao looked back as though in challenge.

"Let's go back in," the older of the two said, extending a hand out to the bluenette. Takao took it and allowed Kai to pull him up. Then he ran back up the hill and stood at the top.

"I'm hungry!" he called, "Lunch time!"

And, leaving Kai to follow after him, he disappeared back towards the mansion.

Mr. Tsubutsubu was completely forgotten.

xx

That evening Takao decided to give his grandpa a call.

"Hello… gramps?" Takao spoke into the phone, and then held it at arm's length, wincing, as a sudden noise made itself known across the line.

"Gramps, calm down," Takao called at the receiver, and when the ruckus died down a little he cautiously brought it back to his ear again. "Yeah, all's good. I got here fine, yeah yeah, sorry for not calling right away…"

Kai tried to ignore the uproar as the Kinomiya elder began to yell into the phone again, so loud that Kai could hear every word.

"T-man you should know better than to make this old geezer worry like that! You should have given me a ring when you hit K-man's pad!"

"Yeah, I already said I was sorry, geez. Don't make me regret calling at all…"

"T-man!"

Kai rubbed his temple. He had no doubt about who Takao had inherited his loud and obnoxious speech patterns from. He ignored the rest of the loud telephone conversation as best as he could until finally Takao hung up and turned to him.

"Well, that's taken care of," he said.

"Hn."

Takao crossed his arms and stared at him until Kai was forced to pay him some attention.

"That's better," Takao nodded approvingly, "Ever thought about getting a TV in here?"

Kai honestly hadn't because he didn't care much for TVs. But even if he had, he couldn't. The money he was allotted monthly was strictly enough for essential life purposes and those clearly did not entail modern entertainment. The ancient house had one modern device, and that was the telephone, and it had that at all for necessary communication.

"I don't want a television," Kai informed the other.

"Kai, gah, how do you live? No one around, no TV, nothing! And even your car, you barely use it! Are you like a robot or something?"

Right, the car. The second modern luxury. Provided to him only so he can go to town for groceries and other necessities.

Annoyed, Kai looked away again, hoping to stop the rant in its tracks because Takao seemed about to go on. It's not like he _chose_ to be here. If only the bluenette knew…

Takao faltered when he got no form of response. He frowned, looking at Kai's side profile, and then dropped on the couch beside him.

"Hey, Kai…"

Kai looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Kinomiya, I will say this once. You choose to be here, so stop complaining."

They sat in an awkward silence. Kai's thoughts drifted back to his lonely days, here, all alone. Takao's presence had elevated his loneliness, made a slow, happy warmth trickle into his stomach. But he had been stupid to revel in it. It was no surprise that the sociable, fun-loving bluenette would tire of the silent mansion and its silent, lone resident. And even if not, then Takao was due back to his own home and life in only a couple of days…

A warm hand touched his shoulder, neck. Kai barely kept himself from gasping as it grasped him there and remained.

Takao's tone was sad, "I'm sorry, Kai, I didn't mean it like that. You're right, I choose to be here. I want to be here, with you. But… you. Are you here because you want to be?"

Kai sat stiffly. The damned hand was still where it had landed, and he was half tempted to push it away. Slowly, he turned and looked at the other through his bangs. Takao's eyes were dark and questioning, demanding for an answer.

"Kai, please. I know something is going on. Can you tell me? I want to know. I'm only asking for this one thing…"

Kai contemplated this and then sighed. The stiffness of his body eased, making the hand on his neck, so close to his pulse, relax as well. His eyes met Takao's. He smirked.

"You're asking for too much."

And he moved, suddenly overcome with a burning need to get away from him. From Takao. The bluenette was left flustered, staring after him in confusion. Kai didn't look back.

xx

A week after he'd arrived at the mansion, Kai was surprised with an unexpected visitor. His grandfather's representative had thought it acceptable to arrive unannounced, and then to step through the door without invite.

Kai stared at the man expressionlessly as they stood tensely in the front hall.

The man did not smile, did not show any hint of false friendliness. He pulled something out of his pocket and dangled it in Kai's face. A set of car keys. When Kai, arms crossed, did not take them they were set on the entrance table.

"Follow me, Mister Hiwatari," the man intoned, and threw the front door open. There, parked on the driveway beside the car the man had arrived in, was the latest Mercedes Benz model in black. A second, unfamiliar man stood beside it.

"For your daily purposes," he was told, and when Kai continued to look stony the representative said, "Unless you have an intention of walking miles into the city."

Kai still made no response, so the man thought it appropriate to continue.

"As far as I am aware, you do not have your driver's license. I will see to it that a driving instructor will arrive here daily to teach you. When he deems you ready, I will come back with a license for you. You need not take a road test (4)."

Something akin to anger bubbled deep within Kai, but he did not show it. He hated his grandfather's influences and hated it even more when they were to be applied to him, as scarcely as they did. But he bit his lip and kept silent. The man waited for a few moments, as though to grace Kai with a chance to speak. It didn't take long for him to give up.

"Well, that is all. Goodbye then, Mister Hiwatari."

The two men climbed into the other car and drove away. Kai walked back inside, slamming the door behind him.

xx

It took a very short time for Kai to master driving, and though he did it with resentment he knew that he needed it. Then the driving instructor stopped his daily visits, Kai received his unfair license, and he was left alone once again.

The days continued to be gloomy, but his nights were consistently getting worse. So Kai took to driving through his insomnia. He drove the empty, dark roads around the mansion, went into town and watched its nightlife from behind his windshield. But he never stayed anywhere, always went back to his pressing solitude and the shadows threatening to consume him. He drove and drove because that was the only thing he could do, but soon tired of it. There was really nowhere to go.

Driving the car soon turned from being a novelty to a chore only done when absolutely necessary. And Kai found himself trapped within the walls of the mansion once again.

xx

That night Kai broke his routine of reading in the living room until late. He had been avoiding Takao since their conversation a few hours ago, leaving the bluenette to his own devices. Kai was uncomfortable and could not help the sinking feeling that was settling within him at the thought of the other leaving soon. Leaving him here alone again, stuck with nothing to relieve him.

The last thing he wanted was another confrontation, so he decided to stay holed up in his room. He did not have much there, but had brought up a few books from his early nights and so he tried to use them. To his dismay he found that he could not concentrate on the text before him. His mind kept drifting to his guest, who could be bored, lonely, sad, angry… or even worse, planning to leave early the next day.

_That's not my problem_, Kai told himself, _and_ _he deserves better. Better than this._

The time ticked by slowly, the clock creating not a irksome rhythm as usual but a companion to his swirling thoughts.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

He hated this bedroom, but then again he hated all of the ones this house offered. But tonight, somehow, the lone orange glow from his bedside lamp gave its shadows some warmth, fuelled his loneliness with care. He had to get used to his monotone, empty world without Takao again. He had to.

Tick-tock.

His bedroom door creaked open. Kai looked up, startled, as Takao sneaked into the mostly shadowy room. He wore his pyjamas and a sweater on top against the cold. His hair was open from its usual tie, cascading around his shoulders and glinting in the half-light.

Kai stared at him. Takao stared back. Then he shut the door and advanced towards the bed.

"I don't want to sleep alone," He murmured as though in explanation.

For a second gruff words to send the other away was the only thing Kai could think of. Then he decided against them and set the book he had not been successful at reading aside.

Takao traipsed nearer, got into the vast bed beside him. They lay side by side, neither knowing what to say.

"Kai, I've been wondering," Takao finally began, but said no further. He waited until Kai grunted in response to continue, "Me being here. Do you _want_ me to be here at all?"

Kai was simply shocked for a short while. It was so unlike the bluenette to be unconfident, uncertain. That was the only time he'd heard him talk about whether he was wanted. Usually Takao barged into things and made them work _only_ if he stayed there. Wasn't that what had happened to Kai's life after all? And about whether Kai wanted him to be there… how could he ask such a thing…

Takao seemed to take the silence as a confirmation of his fears. He nearly stumbled on his next words.

"I didn't want to be a bother or something, but its not the same without you around you know…"

His hand was making an agitated pattern on the duvet between them. Kai grabbed it roughly.

"Stop," he said, "Kinomiya."

Stupid, how could Takao be so stupid… Kai loosened his hold but didn't let go. He could feel the hand trembling beneath his fingers, heard Takao's shaky breath leave him. Then slowly, as though in a dazed way, Takao entwined their fingers together and gripped back.

Looking at their hands, Kai thought about how odd it was. To be laying side by side with Takao, holding hands woven so tightly, like a lifeline. But it looked right, and he had never felt something better. Kai felt that at this point, there was no more need of talk. But of course the bluenette would feel differently.

"Kai?"

"Hn."

"Tell me."

"…"

"Tell me something. Anything of what's on your mind."

There was a moment of silence. Then Kai sighed, knowing that he would continue to be pestered about this matter.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, more roughly perhaps than he intended.

"Anything. Just talk, I want to listen."

Kai could not deny that now, the statement was sincere, and not at all pressurizing. He wondered if even him, Mr. Beyond Trivialities Such As Emotions, would not feel guilty about denying this simple request.

"Takao," he began, for once opting to use the other's given name, but didn't know how to continue.

Beside him Takao chuckled, and when Kai felt uncomfortable he said, "It's weird, hearing you calling me by name. But it… sounds nice."

Kai looked at him and saw an earnest smile. He looked away.

"If you want me to talk then don't interrupt."

He felt Takao nod and wished that he would, in fact, be interrupted. Kai didn't know how to give the other something satisfactory and true at the same time, and still have it sound neutral, like an observation on the weather. He was never one for words.

_My grandfather told me that he'd give you trouble if I refused to move here. He said you'd tire of me either way, eventually. He had it so that I stay locked up here, alone, until I agree to a business marriage. Then my bride would show up, bringing with her every employee this damned place needs, and no doubts benefits to my grandfather's status. My grandfather… _a small, childish voice kept recounting in Kai's mind. Kai pressed his lips tight.

The bluenette said nothing when Kai took too long being lost in indecision. He seemed to trust that he would be given something, _anything_.

Their hands were still clasped, tightly.

Kai said, "It was my grandfather's wish that I move here."

The second the words left his mouth, he didn't know whether he had uttered the right thing. But it was too late, so he continued.

"This is the family's estate, and my grandfather wants to pass it to me. He wanted it to be inhabited by his only kin."

Was omitting details considered a lie?

"Now I live here."

"Alone," Takao murmured, and the word hung in the darkness between them.

Kai didn't want to be worried about, so he replied with, "I don't have any other family members."

He'd said this before, to Takao. But he didn't have anything else to say.

"Kai, I have one question, and I really want you to answer it truthfully," Takao said.

Staring up at the ceiling, Kai wondered if he could really promise such a thing.

Takao continued, "The answer is yes or no. Please?"

Kai thought about it. Then he made his decision.

"Ask." His throat was dry.

The question was quick to come and blunt.

"Are you lonely here?"

For a second the answer was on the tip of Kai's tongue. Then he thought of how, before Takao had come into his bedroom, he was thinking about the other's looming departure. Soon Takao would go and leave him in his gnawing solitude, and hadn't he said that he had to get used to it again?

He was afraid that admitting his loneliness would make him powerless against it.

So Kai closed his eyes and answered.

"No."

His heart felt a flash of a sinking sensation. _It's for the best_, Kai thought.

The hand in his did not pull away, but it no longer held on so tightly.

xx

Takao was having a weird dream when he felt something begin to pull him towards wakefulness. He tried to grasp onto the fading tendrils of his dream but a part of him felt that he shouldn't and he was disconnected. There was something foreign, a touch, a caress. His hand was warm, pleasantly so… Takao sighed and let go of his half-asleep state. He opened his eyes and saw darkness.

Familiarity came back to him. He was in Kai's room, in Kai's bed. He had fallen asleep laying beside Kai. Kai…

"Kai?" he murmured, voice foggy with sleep.

The warmth on his hand disappeared. Takao turned his head and saw Kai's dark eyes looking back at him. There was no light except the dim moonlight emitting through the tall windows. It had to be the middle of the night.

Kai looked tense, apprehensive. Takao realized that the earlier feeling to his hand had been Kai's touch. After all, they had fallen asleep holding hands. Oh.

"Go back to sleep."

Takao laid on his side and looked at Kai with half-closed eyes for a second. Then he let them fall shut.

"Why are you still awake?" he asked.

He waited, and then finally resolved to give up on getting an answer. It was such a long time that Takao was almost fully asleep again before Kai replied.

"I… can't sleep in this damn house," Kai's tone was odd, something unheard of before. Wondrous, and chilled rather chilly.

Takao's drifting consciousness made it difficult for him to grasp full meaning to the words, and they slipped past his memory. The tone, however, resounded within him, causing a disturbance in the nature of his sleep.

"Insomniac, I think that's the term," Kai continued to whisper.

Takao breathed deeper. Kai shifted agitatedly.

"I slept better, since you came. But now, I can't stop thinking about you leaving, soon."

Had Takao been aware, he would still have possibly missed the words. They were hummed so low they were mostly indiscernible. Kai shifted once again. Takao had fallen away into dreamland. Kai's fingers ghosted over his still hand.

His eyes held gloomy exhaustion as he regarded the sleeping form beside him.

_I don't want to stay alone._

xx

Takao woke up unexpectedly early the next day, feeling somehow bothered. He could not pinpoint what exactly was aggravating him but it felt like he was missing something crucial. Sighing in annoyance, he got up and stretched.

He remembered the conversation of the night before, and later waking up again to find Kai still awake. Asking him, "Why are you still awake?". There had been no answer. Then why did it feel like he might have forgotten that answer? There had been _no_ answer.

Pouting, Takao looked about the large, empty room, and the mussed sheets of the king sized bed. He tried to think of Kai's former family occupying this space, sleeping in the same bed he and Kai had shared. Talked in. Fell asleep in. Holding hands. An image of Voltaire popped into his mind, making him shudder and putting a halt to that specific train of thought.

He took a long warm shower, and then found Kai sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast.

Kai's expressionless face did not show surprise at seeing Takao up so early, but his eyes regarded the other with a kind of interest. The smell of pancakes and syrup wafted pleasantly in the air.

"Good morning," Takao smiled.

Kai grunted in reply and then looked back down, toward his plate. Takao remained quiet all through the rest of breakfast, not sure what kind of interaction he should initiate.

xx

The day passed on as usual, and they did not speak much. Outside it was dismal, all the sunshine of the previous day sucked out by the angry black clouds. Takao sat by the window in the cozy living room and stared without seeing at this unpleasant view.

His mind kept on spinning around in circles. Everything that had happened the night before was unusual: from Kai's obvious torment in the tone of his voice, to them holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the universe. Holding hands, just like that. And it had felt so incredibly amazing to Takao that he could not stop focusing on it, could not help but long to simply do that again, to hold Kai's hand and be content with the small gesture.

And then there was the question he'd ventured…

_Are you lonely here?_

Kai's simple _No _had had enough conviction, but Takao did not want to accept that answer. He had truly hoped that for that one question, he'd be given an honest answer. He wasn't sure what kind of answer he'd received, but it wasn't one he'd really wanted to hear. He didn't want to understand that Kai could live here, like this, and be okay with it. He wanted to hold Kai's hand and pull him, _force him_, back to Bay City. He wanted Kai to at least have _him_ all the time. The longer he stayed here the more he felt fervent to pull Kai away from this vast prison.

And the feeling that he'd missed something crucial from the night before kept grating on his nerves.

Takao frowned at the glass before him.

_Kai, I just want…_

The thought floated unfinished in his mind. He wanted too many things, none of which the Hiwatari heir was willing to give.

xx

In the evening Takao realized that Kai was nowhere to be found. After convincing himself that Kai would not leave him in the mansion alone, and that he should remain calm, he checked every spot he could think of. The hall, the kitchen, the living room. He even had a look outside and peeked into the unused section of the main level. Then he climbed the stairs and checked enough rooms to realize that Kai was not on the second floor either.

Feeling slightly panicked, Takao stood on the landing and considered his options. They weren't many, and none of them were pleasant. He could create a ruckus by calling out in the hope of Kai hearing him from some dark crevice, and then be embarrassed when the other would show up with a condescending expression. He could canvass every little part of the mansion, including the places he'd never been, and find what he may. Or he could simply find something to do until Kai materialized again of his own accord.

Takao sighed and looked up, and there in the end of the hall he saw the staircase leading up to the third and top floor. He stared at it for a moment, and without thought began to move forward. The longer he looked, the more it seemed to beckon to him. He walked slowly, then quietly and carefully climbed each step. His breath was held; he didn't know why but he felt compelled to be silent as though in reverence.

Up, up, Takao went, until he emerged at last and stood on the top landing and looked down the hall. It was heavy with dust, having been clearly unused for a long period of time.

In the shadows of the setting night he saw a figure sitting on a chair at the window on the dead end of the corridor. Just sitting and looking into the bleakness outside, just sitting.

There was a slump to the shoulders that almost made Takao cry, and even in the darkness he could discern who it was.

"Kai?" Takao whispered.

The figure straightened, then turned his head to look behind. There was a glint to Kai's eyes that made them seem wet, but after a second Takao realized it was just the light seeping pathetically from outside.

He walked forward, slowly again because the moment to him seemed fragile, and stood behind the chair. His hand rested uncertainly on Kai's shoulder, and the both of them looked outward through the dusty glass.

"I remembered something," Kai told him. Takao dared not breathe lest he break the spell. "I've been here, to this place, when I was younger. And I stayed in that room."

He motioned vaguely back down the hallway. His voice was impassive.

So Takao held on tighter and said the only thing that came to mind, "I'd stay here with you, always, if I could. I would, Kai."

Kai merely nodded, then stood up. They walked back silently downstairs.

xx

When it was time to sleep there was no question of _where_: Takao lay in Kai's room beside him again. And this time, Takao could not muster up his courage to touch his hand.

xx

"Let's go into town," Takao said out of the blue the next day.

Kai, who'd been standing by the kitchen counter thinking about what he should make for lunch, gave him a look.

"Come on, Kai! Please?"

Kai turned away and opened the fridge. When Takao kept on whining behind his back he said, "What for?"

Takao stood beside him, then _in front_ of him, effectively closing the fridge door and basically putting them chest to chest. Kai stepped back.

"I don't know, we'll have a look around. And you won't have to worry about lunch, I still feel guilty about you having to cook all the time. I have some money so we can just eat out," the bluenette explained.

Crossing his arms, Kai considered the words and realized that he didn't really have a credible objection.

"Forget your money," he said and walked away, to get ready.

Behind him Takao was baffled.

"Wait!" he called after a moment as Kai disappeared around the corner, "Does that mean you agree?"

xx

During the ride into town Takao put the radio on and sang loudly and tunelessly to the hits playing on the popular stations. Kai felt warm at seeing him looking so jovial, but the singing was truly terrible and he could not stop himself from smirking. Takao narrowed his eyes and sang louder in retaliation.

They made it into Sapporo without incident, and Kai parked his car in a public parking lot in the core of the city. Takao jumped out and pulled him along, and they navigated the cold but still busy shopping district, stopping every now and then at a shop that caught the bluenette's eye.

"This is so cool!" Takao exclaimed a while later after dragging Kai into a little hobby shop teeming with models of every kind. He was currently examining a model of a fighter jet from the second world war, "So cool!"

"I get it," Kai sighed under his breath.

"And this one!" the enthusiastic bluenette ran to a second model, "Man, I wish I could buy one of these!"

Kai rubbed his temple as he saw the shop owner headed towards Takao wearing a large smile. What ensued was a long lecture by the owner on the merits of his models, and a not-so-discrete pressurizing attempt to seal the deal by selling one to Takao. Kai grinded his teeth through it all, and was finally forced to extract his friend by force from the claws of the persistent seller. He was certain that had Takao had the money, he would have been convinced to actually make the purchase.

Takao kept pouting as they walked back down the street.

"You didn't have to do it like that you know, it was kinda interesting…" he sounded put off, but then his eyes lit up at the quaint little restaurant across the street from them, "Kenzo noodle house (4)… Kai, I think it's past due for lunch!"

He strolled faster to the magnet of food pulling on his empty stomach. And Kai, whose energy had been drained by simply listening to the obnoxious seller, hurried after him.

xx

There was a happy buzz in the cozy restaurant as people ate and talked and laughed around them. Kai and Takao sat at an obscure corner table, grateful for the warmth, and waited for their food.

"I'm sooo hungry," Takao kept on complaining, "And it smells really good. They're taking too long, what's taking them so long?"

Kai drummed his fingers on the tabletop and ignored him.

A few minutes later the waitress showed up with their food and an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about that, there was a mix up in the orders…"

Takao waved her away, already beginning to stuff his mouth full. She took one glance at him and decided not to continue what she was saying. She smiled at Kai, wished them a good meal, and withdrew.

Kai began to eat his own steamy food at a much more sane pace.

"S'gu!" Takao approved in between mouthfuls. He swallowed, "It's good!"

Nodding in agreement, Kai continued to chew slowly and thoughtfully. Takao continued looking at him until Kai looked back up, wondering what on planet earth could make his companion pause in his devour fervour.

"Your cooking is really good too," Takao informed him with a smile, and then reached across the table and lightly touched his hand, "I meant what I said, you know. I would want to stay with you forever."

Kai sat a little bit shocked for a second. _Forever_. It was said with such confidence… He was only glad he was spared from having to reply as the bluenette resumed attacking his food with an unrivalled passion.

xx

Takao did come back with a purchase from town, and that was a magazine "to keep me busy while you read" as he'd told Kai.

But that evening when Kai was attempting to continue reading the _Inferno_ the other kept interrupting him with various bits of trivia from the magazine pages. Things like, "Whoa, did you know that [so and so celebrity] did [such and such]?" and, "It says here that we should exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Not that that should concern you, you exercise too much anyway…" and, "Horoscopes! What's your horoscope, Kai?" after which he began to read a lengthy description of upcoming hardships and a small triumph that could be gained with a little compassion, making Kai regret telling him. Kai didn't believe in all of that crap anyhow.

He thought he'd heard the end of it and was lulled into a false sense of security when Takao suddenly plopped on the couch beside him and startled him. Kai did not even have the time to react before the magazine was shoved under his nose. Takao tapped a picture of a curvy young woman.

"Do you think she's hot?"

Kai pushed magazine and hand away, and set aside his book.

"No."

Takao flipped a few pages and showed him another picture: this time the girl was less curvy but prettier.

"How about her?"

Kai frowned, wondering where this was heading. "No."

Another picture. "Her?"

Sighing and crossing his arms, Kai looked away.

"Not interested."

He heard the magazine being discarded and looked back to find a radiant smile on the bluenette's face.

"Me either," Takao told him, and his smile was discreet in a way Kai could not explain.

xx

Later as Takao slept spread-eagled beside him, taking up the majority of the bed, Kai wondered what his friend had been getting at.

xx

The next dawned slightly strained: Takao would be leaving that same evening and neither of them could ignore that fact. Kai realized that tonight, there would not be a now familiar weight beside him on his bed. To him it somehow seemed to be a defeat, and after some deliberation he came to the decision that he would not sleep in it either.

Takao did his part of being cheery as they sat around all day, but his demeanour noticeably changed in the afternoon. A slightly gloomy expression crossed his face when Kai reminded him to pack, and headed upstairs without a word. Takao collected his few belongings from around the house and shoved them into his suitcase. He brought it down and left it by the front door, waiting to be shoved into Kai's car and taken back to Bay City.

He wanted to go back too, Takao did. He wanted to see his grandfather again, and his other friends. He wanted to sleep in his own bedroom again. But he didn't want to go alone: he wanted to take Kai with him. The more Takao thought about it the more divided he felt. He wanted to go, but Kai would not come with him. So he wanted to stay with Kai. But he wanted to go, and he had to: to his dojo, his family, his school.

It did not help that as the minutes passed, bringing them closer to the time of leaving, Kai kept on watching him. Takao knew it because he felt it, but every time he tried to catch the other at it Kai was somehow looking the other way.

_Frustrated_, Takao decided when they finally pulled on their outerwear and boots and began to head out, _that's how I feel right now, in a word. Frustrated._

As they drove down the driveway Takao glanced back and saw Mr. Tsubutsubu, now truly an indiscernible lump of snow: the snowstorm of the night before had piled a thick layer of snow upon him, like a cloak. He looked away.

It snowed lightly as they finally made it to the airport, and Takao checked his luggage in. Then he stood beside Kai.

Around them was the noisy stir of the busy airport. People shuffled by, announcements were made on the upcoming flights. When his own flight was called to board, Takao turned to Kai.

They stood face to face.

"Well, I guess I should be going now," he started, and cursed himself for sounding awkward.

Kai nodded. The activity around them seemed to blur: no one else mattered but them as they stood as though they might be seeing each other for the last time. Takao smiled as he looked into Kai's eyes; he would ensure that he'd see Kai again.

"I'll keep in touch," he promised, still smiling.

Kai nodded again, and then after a moment held out his hand. A formal goodbye. Takao didn't like formal. It wasn't appropriate for them.

So he pushed the hand aside and instead threw his arms around the man before him. His lips connected not at Kai's cheek but rather at the corner of his mouth in a quick peck. Before Kai could even react to the sudden affection, Takao pulled back and away.

"I'll see you again Kai. Look forward to it!" He called as he walked away with a wave.

He saw nothing but the path in front of him, and felt Kai's eyes on his back until he'd disappeared within the crowds.

Kai kept looking long after Takao was gone. Then an almost unseen smile graced his lips and he made his way back to the parking lot and his car.

xx

When Kai returned to his silent and empty life, all he could think of were Takao's touches, and they were enough to keep him sane.

xx

xx

xx

You have made it to the end of this monster. You are awesome. Now please continue this gruelling journey and review. I would greatly appreciate it!

**Notes**

**(1)** Airport in Sapporo, capital of Hokkaido. Hokkaido is an island north of Japan, and it is a prefecture of the country.

**(2)** A passage from Dante Alighieri's **Inferno** (in Canto V).

**(3)** Tsubutsubu: Japanese for lumpy, if I'm not mistaken.

**(4) **I have no idea what kinds of written/road tests, if any, are required in Japan for a driver's license.

**(****5) **I don't really know whether a Kenzo Noodle House exists in Sapporo.

Sequel upcoming soon, if anyone wants it.

Ciao.

xx


End file.
